I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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