Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize