This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize