He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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