There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
