We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i can't believe i had my finger in that
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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