i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
