ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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