I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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