Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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