So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
