I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Randomize
