Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
