i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
