If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
This is my gift to your gina
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
