I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Randomize
