That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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