Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
