If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Randomize