she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
