The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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