am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
