I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
