did you get engaged???
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
