Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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