What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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