I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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