Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
