i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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