can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
