we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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