You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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