Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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