you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
