I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
