i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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