come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
