we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
you never un-have a 4some
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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