He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
