I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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