Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
farters have to be the big spoon...
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Randomize
