If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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