I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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