PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Randomize
