i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
