im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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