it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
