Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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