She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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