the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
