no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
