the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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