he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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