Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
