It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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