I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
